I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
