Will you blow on my dice?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
