kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
