just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
