New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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