the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
