five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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