so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
