If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize