we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
