great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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