U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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