Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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