I hate all girls vehemently.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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