Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
