theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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