Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She even gives head with a lisp.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
