I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
