Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I FOUND THE LEGS
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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