roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten