at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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