whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
