After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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