My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
