Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
