Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
