He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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