Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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