On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
