She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
