It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
