Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
