we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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