Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
