Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
