Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
