You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
