I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize