hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
