you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
