Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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