this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize