..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
