I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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