I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize