How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
