Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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