trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
