I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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