well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
