Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize