she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
