youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
In other news, I just burned my penis
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
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