I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
this boner is exhausting
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
