Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
