i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
