My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize